


symbiotic self-indulgence

by crookedspoon



Series: No Nuptials Necessary [16]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Banter, Dirty Thoughts, Kissing, M/M, POV Jason Todd, Secret Relationship, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:21:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23366098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedspoon/pseuds/crookedspoon
Summary: Family dinner doesn't mean they can't find a private moment or two.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: No Nuptials Necessary [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1298645
Comments: 14
Kudos: 176
Collections: 1 Million Words' Weekend Challenge





	symbiotic self-indulgence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TigerTigerTigerTime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerTigerTigerTime/gifts).



> Written for the happy fact #70 from [this 1mw weekend challenge](https://1-million-words.livejournal.com/3050143.html?thread=24548511#t24548511) and the prompt L. "A stolen kiss." from [this tumblr list](https://crookedspoonfic.tumblr.com/post/157523264292/send-me-characters-and-a-letter-and-ill-write). So much for minific, whoops xD

The invitation itself did not surprise him -- Bruce has never stopped sending them even if they all went unanswered. Stubborn to a fault, that old man. Which makes two of them. Because Jason has never answered even a single one out of principle.

So it does surprise him that he answers one this time. All because Dick batted his eyelashes at him. While he was edging Jason. ("Say you'll come and I'll let you.") So. Jason had been under duress.

It's one thing to be dragged to the manor for a surprise birthday get-together (that Jason could have done without, thank you very much), and quite another to formally attend a family dinner.

For one, there are a lot more people here than there were at his birthday -- Jason would have made a one-eighty if that had been the case. The billiards room is never this full unless Bruce Wayne is hosting a small thing for the Mayor or any of his other high-profile acquaintances.

For another, you can't get worked up about something you don't know is in your future.

"You're on edge," Dick murmurs by his side.

Jason jerks in surprise, and that alone is enough indication that Dick is right. He shrugs and glances away, but not before noticing that Dick has his hands clasped behind his back. Likely to refrain from touching Jason.

They arrived separately, to avoid suspicion, so it wouldn't do to rouse it now just because Dick is a handsy menace.

Not that it takes long for Dick to grab his cuff and pull him along, anyway.

"I know!" he announces, just loud enough for Jason and anyone else who cared enough to listen. "Let me show you something."

Dick drags him through the door and across the great hall.

"Where the fuck are you taking me?"

"If they ask, I was showing you Alfred's moonflowers in the conservatory. They bloom when the moon is out, you know. Hence the name."

"You want to show me flowers," Jason deadpans, but lets himself be dragged along.

"You don't think it's romantic?"

"No."

"How about this, then?"

Before they even reach the other end of the gallery, Dick shoves him into an alcove that bisects the length of the wall. Jason should have expected some stunt like this. 

Apprehension makes his hackles rise.

"You know he has cameras everywhere," he hisses. It's almost like he can see the lenses sparkle in the eyes of every Wayne family portrait.

"Blind spot," Dick says by way of explanation and all but climbs on top of Jason, finally able to get his hands on him.

Jason rolls his eyes, trying not to shiver. Dick's fingers are warm and sure, their touch familiar. "Yeah, like the tapes will magically not show us sneaking around."

"Let him see," Dick says and leans forward.

"What are you on about?" Jason leans back to keep his lips a good inch away from Dick's.

"I don't want to keep hiding."

Their relationship. Dick wants to make it official. Jason exhales.

"Mh, yeah, not ready."

"I know," Dick smiles and reaches up to stroke Jason's cheek. A gesture of reassurance. "But this way, he can figure it out for himself until we're ready to tell him. It'll soften the blow."

Dick starts playing with Jason's curls as his smile turns mischievous.

"Since you didn't want us wearing our rings."

"Oh, because that would surely soften the blow. 'Hey, Bruce, just so you know, we've been pretend-married for a while now. What? Oh yes, it's totally a sex thing. You should try it.' I think the fuck not."

Dick yanks him down before he's even finished scoffing. It's not even been that long since Dick last snogged him silly -- just before leaving for the manor, actually -- but the way he makes out with Jason now would have a casual observer believe that they had been without the other for days instead of maybe an hour or two.

"God, I don't know how I'm supposed to make it through dinner when I can't keep doing this whenever I want."

"You manage just fine at work."

"Only because you're not there," Dick pouts. He actually pushes out his lower lip and knits his brows like a petulant child. Jason can't believe how ridiculous he is. Or how ridiculously attracted he himself is even now. Fuck this shit. "Trust me, every time you show up at the precinct, I want to drag you off to the nearest bathroom. Or kiss you right there in the bullpen."

"You're a true romantic."

"Who is very, very obsessed with you."

Jason can't believe this either. Dick has done the filthiest things to him, has made him break down crying from the sheer humiliation of it all, and yet he still manages to make Jason blush.

"Shut up," Jason mumbles against Dick's lips.

"You shut up," Dick replies, grinning into the kiss.

Distantly, Jason wonders if anyone is missing them already and wonders where they are. If anyone came looking for them, this alcove is as much hiding place as the gallery has to offer. Meaning none at all. Anyone could see them from either door.

Jason is not the exhibitionist in their relationship, but he can't deny the thrill that thought sends through him. There's something forbidden about this, about pretending to be family in front of the others, then fucking each other behind their backs.

"Should we at least tell Alfred?" Dick asks as he laces their fingers together. It's strange not to feel their rings pressing into skin.

"What? Why?" Jason's mind reels when Dick lifts his hands overhead and crosses them at the wrists.

"We could retire here instead of driving all the way back to your place. And then, Alfie wouldn't have to make up a room for each of us."

"Knowing him, he's already made them up." It would simply take too much time to prepare rooms for all of them after dinner.

"In that case," Dick licks his lips, "your place or mine?"

Jason stares at his mouth for a moment before he speaks again. He first needed to get his wits into a semblance of order. "Yours. It's farther away from the others, it's bigger, _and_ you've got your own bathroom, like the spoiled princess you are."

Dick tilts a wide grin up at him. "Perks of being the eldest."

"Pure favoritism, if you ask me."

"Jealousy doesn't become you, my sweet wife."

A spark of pleasure flares through Jason to hear Dick call him 'wife.' It's Pavlovian by now. He bends towards Dick's ear. "Let me remind you of something: I'm not your wife tonight. _Dick._ "

"And isn't that exciting, _Jason?_ Or should I call you 'brother'?"

Dick underlines the question with a roll of his hips.

Jason suppresses the moan it elicits and the even stronger urge to wrap his legs around Dick's waist.

"Just when I thought you couldn't sink any lower," he teases.

"I'll sink as low as you want me to."

Fuck Dick and his smooth lines. "Right now?" Jason asks and nips at Dick's lower lip.

"Phew!" Dick releases Jason abruptly. "I think that's our cue to go back. Or else I'm gonna drag you upstairs and not come down in the foreseeable future."

Taking a step back, he straightens himself, smoothing down his sweater and his hair.

"How do I look?" he then asks and pirouettes in front of Jason.

 _You have to ask? Absolutely stunning, as always._ "All right, I guess," Jason says with a shrug.

Dick's eyes crinkle under the force of his fond smile, as if he could read Jason's thoughts. Fuck, he hopes not.

Just as Dick reaches up to straighten Jason's collar, the door at the entrance of the gallery clicks shut. Their heads whip toward it simultaneously.

It's Cass. 

"You've been gone long," she says when she notices them staring.

From this distance, Jason cannot read her expression, but she sounded neutral. Stating a fact. Not voicing a suspicion.

Jason doesn't think for a second that she saw nothing. She's too perceptive for that. Even a gesture as innocent as touching someone's shoulder reveals secret meanings to her. There's not much you can hide from her.

But maybe... maybe she doesn't care. Maybe she doesn't want to make their relationship her business.

In which case Bruce could learn a lot from her.

It's not enough to make Jason relax, but it nevertheless eases something in him. It's good to know at least one person doesn't judge.

He slaps Dick's back so hard, Dick stumbles forward.

"What are we waiting for?" he asks and walks towards Cass.

She nods and opens the door again, holding it for Dick, who hurries after them. They make their way toward the dining room, a few feet apart now that the cameras are on them again. Jason can almost hear Dick's stomach rumble at the prospect of getting food. That guy is always hungry.

"You act as if you knew," Dick says as they're halfway across the great hall.

Jason looks over his shoulder, just in time to catch Cass shrugging. A quick twitch of the shoulders.

"You're always... hovering. Out there. Concerned for the other. It's obvious."

"Guess we're not so good at sneaking around after all." Dick laughs.

"Is it obvious to anyone else?" Jason asks and rubs his tight neck muscles.

Cass twitches her shoulders again.

"Does it matter if they know if no one confronts us about it?" Dick asks.

"Hell if I know."

"We don't have to decide anything tonight." Dick stops in front of the dining room door and turns toward Jason. "Let's just get some food in us and pick this up later, if you like. I'm _starving."_

"Tell me something I don't know already."

With a glint in his eyes, Dick grabs the front of Jason's shirt and makes him bend low enough so he can whisper: "I really want to fuck you in the kitchen here. Alfred would kill us, but it'd be so worth it."

He gives Jason a quick peck on the lips and a saucy wink before letting him go and all but skipping through the door.

Jason stares after him, uncomfortably and noticeably hot.

Fuck Dick and his stupid fantasies.

"You go on ahead," he tells Cass. "I'll join you in a moment."

Her eyes flicker toward the bulge in his pants before she nods, as solemn as always, and follows Dick into the dining room.

Great. Jason lets his head fall back with a groan. What an idea it was to come here where he'll have to sit next to or across from Dick and pretend they haven't been fucking each other's brains out like horny teenagers for the past however many months.

The worst thing is that although he'd like to keep this thing they have private for as long as they can, he also would very much want to be around to see the horror on Bruce's face when he finds out about it.

Jason doesn't know what makes that thought so satisfying and he doesn't care to investigate further. It just is.

The idea of letting Dick fuck him in the kitchen sounds a lot more appealing all of a sudden. They might even be able to misappropriate some of Alfred's aprons.

Dick is right. Alfred would _so_ kill them, but it would be worth it for the chance of Bruce walking in on them alone. Fuck. The shock and disgust on his face as his golden boy takes apart his prodigal son would be priceless. They'd have to get that on camera.

Jason is already tingling with anticipation and they haven't even planned anything yet. Dick's depravity has started to rub off on him big time. And it's telling that Jason doesn't seem to mind that anymore. Well, not like he's been such a saint before. They're merely unlocking new depths in each other's filthy desires. That's why they're so good together.

Jason snaps a photo of the aprons that are hanging from pegs in the kitchen and sends it to Dick with the word "Ideas?" attached.

Seconds later, he gets an answer. Jason would have expected Bruce to not tolerate mobile devices at the dinner table, but who knows. Maybe goldie gets preferential treatment. As usual. Jason opens the text.

"So, so many," it reads. Complete with a winking face blowing a kiss. He flashes back to the moment in front of the door to the dining room.

Fuck, Jason is so into this guy it's insane. "Let's hear it," he writes back.

"Tell you later." And another winking face.

Jason figures that's enough incentive to join the others. The sooner they're done with dinner, the sooner they can retire, the sooner Dick can describe his ideas in technicolor detail as he fucks Jason into the mattress.

Jason grins. He can't wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "I Like Pretending" by IAMX.
> 
> (Sorry for all the wifey updates lately. I'll stop now *hides*)


End file.
